woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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