she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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