I can text with my tongue
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
