it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
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