i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
she peed on how many people?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
