Hey man sorry I got all grabby
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
