Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
