just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
