Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
