i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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