i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize