after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
