when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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