I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
