Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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