I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
