____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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