if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
