Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
