My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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