Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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