this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
