Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
They took my balls.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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