They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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