So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
