im about as happy as oj after his trial
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Randomize
