God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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