You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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