oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
