so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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