Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
