yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Randomize
