I think im going to throw up on grandma
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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