I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
