i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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