im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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