I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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