I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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