just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
