Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
