Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
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