every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize
