i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
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