If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
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