So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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