ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
