I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
