Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
