I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
