for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
