He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
