We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
