He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
please don't ironically join a cult
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