I hope mine doesn't look like that
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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