He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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