In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Your cock deserves a montage
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
