I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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