This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize